what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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