So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we're making bets on your personal life
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
