I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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