her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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