I wanna bring you to show and tell
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
