Dual....:-)
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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