what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
