He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
