i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
