forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We have started to decorate penises.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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