Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
