If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
