I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
