I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize