i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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