It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize