i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
