i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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