In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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