I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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