If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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