she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
