i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
why is half of my head shaved?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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