I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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