I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
