I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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