My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
