I wannas sexs uuuuu
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
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