Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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