Your dad touched me again.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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