is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
