I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
