I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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