He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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