I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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