I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
