We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
