and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
