I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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