He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
