How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
