walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The feeling are messing with the penis
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
