If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
