Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
