also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
