I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
