this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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