Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
