Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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