The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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