I hope mine doesn't look like that
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
