he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize