Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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