i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You know, be my cock's hype man.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
