What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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