I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
