I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
