New invention idea: vibrating tampons
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
