I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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