The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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