I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's shark week go big or go home
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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