You're completely useless in the revolution.
You can't special order awesome
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
