i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
