The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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