so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
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After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize