is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
