he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
