So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
