Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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